Friday, 15 November 2013

The minefield of parenting

It’s pretty tough becoming a parent, everyone wants to offer you a little nugget of information, something that worked for them or that they heard from someone else that was pretty much guaranteed to work!

My dad always thinks it pays to listen to what someone else has to say, they might enrich you with their knowledge after all… but sometimes you feel like you are being bombarded from all sides with no clue which bits you should filter out and which are going to be genuinely helpful!  It does not help that most of the time each suggestion contradicts another.

I watched a video to prepare me for childbirth and the presenter compared birth to the pain of a Chinese burn, so you can imagine after a pretty rough (and dramatic) birth of my first child I felt understandably a little conned.  But looking back birth seems quite easy in comparison to surviving the long haul of actually raising your children, dealing with the tantrums and working out the best way to raise happy and confident individuals.

I am always judging myself harshly as a parent, thinking I am doing it all wrong.  Wondering how I could get better at it, often failing to give myself credit when I actually do something right.  I think meeting with other parents at a CANparent class would give me the assurance I need to feel more capable of the challenges ahead.  I hear the teenage years can be particularly problematic!!!

I love this myth buster video, it does help you realise just how much new parents need up to date advice, we are a little fluffy around the ears and go along believing most things until of course we have learnt on our own journeys.


I really think living it day to day is the best way to learn.  You know your child, sometimes you just might need that little boost to feel ready to take the lead and not follow every little bit of well meaning advice!  I certainly wish I had not been so quiet around my newborns, when they nodded off it was radio silence, whilst other mums had been hovering around their own children since they were born and they happily slept on!  So when I was in a situation that was a little more noisy than normal I would have over tired boys who would not go down for a nap however hard I tried…

But my greatest challenge was surviving the 21-month gap between my newborn and rampaging toddler!  I had eldest throwing books at the baby, his attempt to play with him I later found out!  But its hard trying to keep your precious bundle safe during that tricky time!  I was told for eldest it was like if hubbie had brought home a new wife!!! So I can understand why he reacted so unfavourably to the new arrival.   To be honest I wish CANparent had been around back then, I might have a few less grey hairs…

The CANparent Facebook page has some useful expert parenting advice, I've “liked” it (and so should you!) so I will be keenly following that too for updates.  Especially seeing as my troubles have not stopped now they are 4 and 6; the only difference really is the 4-year-old fights back (and usually hits harder!).

Good luck everyone with your parenting (mis)adventures!

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