Monday, 15 August 2016

Mummy Friends

Seriously one piece of advice would be to get yourself some mummy friends.  I have had a series of so called mummy “friends” but it took a few false starts to find the ones that actually worked.  You think its all going swimmingly and then suddenly you’re out of the clique wondering what you did wrong!  Don’t let it put you off just move in another circle, don’t take it personally, not all friendships are made to last, some are fleeting only working momentarily.

Try and pick out non-judgemental ones, the ones who don’t harp on about their perfect child and their idealistic ways.  It can be draining hearing about their little angelic child ALL the time, the one who practically came out of the womb already reading, swimming, bike riding and speaking six different languages… who would never push a child or steal a toy.

Come on we all know a mum with a child like that.  I would rather a happy medium, naturally sing your child praises some of the time, but keep it balanced otherwise when they go out in the big wide world as adults and find they are not told everything they do is “brilliant, incredible, amazing” they might feel deflated quite quickly!

My friends and I might be chalk and cheese but some how we still gel, I can often be hover mummy and they have relaxed the reins, but between us we have everything we need covered to give our children adequate freedom but with a watchful eye when they need it.

Hopefully your new mummy friend will reciprocate, playdate for playdate, so it’s not just you or them doing all the hosting!  They know when to offer a helping hand, an encouraging word or a cup of tea and generous serving of cake… (Or depending on the hour a glass of restorative wine!).

My mummy friends really do help keep me sane.  Your house might be trashed after a playdate you hosted but your children can no doubt return the favour the next time they visit a friends.  But more than anything that change of scenery can be very refreshing.  Just the tonic when you’re stuck at home with children for the long holiday and want to break it up with some adult conversation.

Parenting can be tough but a solid friendship group can take the edge off it, even if it’s just to rant about the latest difficulty or have a crazy moment yourselves!!!

Once you have found those friends hang on to them.

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