Thursday, 29 September 2016

Dating Minefields

Dating isn’t tricky at university you are surrounded by an ample choice of guys and girls to sweep you off your feet even if it’s only fleetingly.  You meet, you fall in “love”, you might stay in love or you might not.  Its not like your choice is limited, you might meet someone in your digs or on your course, in the pub or nightclub or in one of the many activities you joined up in Freshers Week.

Life with my university guy was not all smooth sailing, we were both young and there were lots of other distractions.  We lasted as far as booking our wedding before it all fell apart.  Both of us tried to hang on to it for the wrong reasons but eventually we managed to accept that enough was enough.  Since we had got together at 18 we had changed, our priorities were different.  He was still stuck in the rut of drinking and being with his mates and I wanted a bit more from life.  I wouldn’t even say it was children, but something was missing.  I felt I was nudging him towards the alter rather than him making the way completely willingly.

After that I had the rebound guys the ones that filled a gap briefly and even tried speed dating before finding “the one” well the one to actually get to the alter with this time!

Our relationship was fast tracked - too long wasted on my previous relationship so I think I felt I had to move quicker this time round.   Engaged, married and pregnant within six months, we were still in the heady over the moon in love stage, luckily we still seem to be doing okay almost 10 years on.

A photo posted by Karen (@missingsleep) on

But I know lots of relationships that flounder, some days we are barely hanging on, exhausted from parenting or just disagreeing on how things should be done.  It’s a complicated balance staying happy in a relationship and everyday is not always a good one, but overall we are a family unit that are there for each other.

As you get older though it must be harder to find the one, the pool to pick from must be smaller as many more people have paired off together leaving less choice, some might have loved and lost and not want to re-enter the dating world, others might want to but not know where to start.  I like having someone in my life though, to have my back and would always want my husband to have the same if heaven forbid anything happened to me.  If he wanted to go down the avenue of mature dating (as long as he gave it a year grace) he would have my blessing – yes a big fan of the film PS. I Love You here I would understand eventually the need to move on, as long as the person was good with the kids.

Looking at the website it does appear quite tasteful, I guess its good that there is ways for older people to connect with each other.  Life can pass you by so it’s worth holding out for your knight in shining armour to sweep you off your feet, some people just take longer than others to find them.  I am looking forward to growing old and grey with my one.

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