Wednesday, 21 September 2016

How Mum’s Can Use NLP to Avoid Arguments with Their Kids

Every parent has some kind of issue at some point with their child. It can be getting them to understand that physically hurting other children is wrong or that they really do need to get out of bed in a morning.

Just as the terrible two’s have passed, there will be something else, another sticking point. For parents of teenage kids, the arguments can be many and vitriolic.  Imposing rules and following through on punishments seems to go on for years and years.

There are tears, there is making up to do, apologies to be made. And yet, the same thing keeps on happening.

Breaking out of this spiral is tough but many parents have discovered a solution. It is not just one that works on the kids, but in all kinds of relationships and settings, from family to work and beyond.  A Neuro Linguistic Programming diploma could be the answer that you seek. But, what is it? Does it work? Why bother?

Why bother?

If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.

“Be back by 10pm or there is no X Box for a week”. And what happens? They roll in at 11pm, say they forgot the time and you confiscate the X Box after a shouting match that could raise the dead.

The tantrums go on for days and although it all settles down, the same thing happens again. And again. And again.

The answer to ‘why bother?’ is this: you have a more peaceful life, you feel more successful as a parent and your kids will be happier too because Mum and Dad are no longer red in the face, eyes bulging as they vent their spleen in their direction.

What is Neuro Linguistic Programming?

It is not a new phenomenon, having been around since the 1970s when the phrase Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP, was coined.

Essentially it is about tuning in to your thoughts and feeling so that you can run your life more successfully and communicate with other people more effectively.

The human brain is a fabulous thing. How it works is not fully understood; in fact, we only understand a fraction of how the squishy mass of white and grey cells work.

How the mind works is even more of a mystery, with variations from one person to another being significant hence you being worried sick by 10.10 pm when your teenager is not home, and they roll in at 11pm assuming that being an hour later is ‘no big deal’.

A skilled practitioner will, after successfully completing a Neuro Linguistic Programming diploma, be able to;

* Think more clearly

* Communicate better with others, including tantrum-ing toddlers and sulking teenagers

* Manage thought, moods and behaviour better too

* Improve on how they do things

* Acquire new skills and attitudes too

The benefits of NLP for Mum’s (and Dad’s!)

Tip 1 – Changes how you view your child’s behaviour

If you start to believe that your child is deliberately being contrary in their behaviour to get at you, this will reflect in how you deal with the situation. Are they pushing you to the edge because this is the only way they get what they want?

This doesn’t make their behaviour right but it may highlight why you react to them in the way that you do.

Tip 2 - Identify potential meltdown moments (theirs and yours!)

A Neuro Linguistic Programming diploma will highlight the need to foresee and respond to flashpoints, like Saturday late nights, early morning meltdowns before school, meal times and so on.

Once you identify the flashpoint, you look for the rigger (do you pre-empt the flash point and raise a sarcastic remark?). NLP can help you avoid these moments, identify the trigger and create a thoughtful solution.

Tip 3 – Coping with anger

Being angry signifies a loss of control. It leads to rash decisions and harsh words.

But with NLP, you could avoid getting to this point as it is a process of changing your mindset. It is a way of remaining cool and in control, creating a win-win situation for everyone involved.

All ages, from toddlers to teenagers Different life stages in your children’s development will present challenges to your parenting capacity. There are all kinds of influences on your children, some you can control and others that you battle hard against.

NLP can be used with all children, no matter what their age or what the issue is. By understanding how we communicate and respond to people, including your children, you can make small changes in your response. How great would it be to argue less, but talk and listen more?

Written by Owen Smith of NCC Home Learning, understanding children’s behaviour and developmental stages is important in helping them to grow into well-rounded people. Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) can be used in all kinds of situations, along with other informative and useful qualifications.

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