Thursday, 23 February 2017

Tackling those difficult conversations

To be honest for a long time I had never thought about writing a will, even after my children were both here I still didn’t have one to begin with.  Writing a will meant accepting I were going to die at some point and it wasn’t something I wanted to acknowledge.  Even though alongside taxes, death is another inevitability, its something many of us put to the back of our minds.  I didn't want to tempt fate, I thought by writing a will it was like accepting death was on the horizon.

It was only after a conversation with a friend who has a lawyer friend (specialising in family law) that I realised just how important having one is.  She mentioned how difficult it can be if you haven’t got custody arrangements set in stone, families can battle it out in court with a lot of upset and arguments.  None of that is healthy for your children, far better to have something in place so you know where you are if heaven forbid something happened.  Before children I guess the will wasn't such a big issue as I had no real responsibilities and no assets to speak of.

But it wasn’t an easy conversation to have; no one likes thinking about death.  It’s one of those things you keep putting off.  But I was glad we had the talk, it was the motivation I needed to write a will.  Since that conversation with my friend I actively encourage my friends with children to write wills of their own.

According to the infographic by Which? the average age we start talking about wills is 18 so I was a bit behind the times there!  I must have been at least 30, for me it was because I didn’t like the idea of the boys being without me, but for others it might be down to worrying about the complexities of writing a will.  


Remarkably you can write a will online in 30 minutes with Which? Wills.  So don’t let the thought of it being a legal minefield put you off.  You can get it sorted quickly and easily and it might cost less than you think.

I get certain conversations can be a bit awkward, but in terms of relationships, finances and wills talking to your parents can also be very helpful, they might have guidance to give and knowledge to impart.  Once you get over the initial discomfort you might be glad you got something off your chest.  I am quite an open chatty person so can talk about pretty much anything, although I would blush at certain conversations, wills, finances, death and relationships are okay territory for me!

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