When you have children your priorities change. You have a new role now as a mother which can often overshadow that of being a wife. You also seem to have less free time. The domestic responsibilities increase. It becomes harder to spend as much quality time as a couple anymore. But don’t give up, below are some practical ways to keep the spark in your marriage.

Even when you find yourself exhausted from the sleepless nights and endless chores hang in there. The time you invest in your marriage makes a big difference. My husband and I have been married for 13 years now. Yes, we have had our ups and downs, but at the end of the day I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I would say he completes me however that sounds a bit too cheesy for my liking!

Date Night

Apparently date night is a necessity for couples. Some couples scoff at the idea of having them but I am a BIG fan myself. It’s a chance to reconnect. Life is busy and we often juggle too much. It’s vital to carve out some time together. You don’t even have to spend much, just a walk together feels like a real treat when your used to having kids dominate the conversation.

However, we have a bit of an obstacle to date nights these days. My boys seem to go to bed later and later, so I find it harder to schedule. By the time they are finally asleep my husband is almost nodding off himself! It’s not ideal really. But its important to try and find a way for it to work. If you can convince close friends or family to have the kids go for it. A date night once a month reduced the chance of breaking up by 14% – that statistic might make my mum more inclined to babysit again.

Spice Things Up

You can go all out or start off slowly when your trying to keep the spark in your marriage. Maybe kick things off with those cheeky messages you used to send each other in the very beginning. My texts these days are more of a shopping list than a declaration of love or intention, so I have my work cut out! It’s a good idea to flirt together again. Once upon a time we even sent each other love letters. Other things you could invest in some new sleepwear, think lacy rather than cutesy flannel pyjamas and perhaps some intimacy toys to spice things up. The same routine can get a little dull all those years later so speak to your partner about what you could do instead.

Dish Out Compliments

It’s important our partner feels appreciated, one way to do this is give them a compliment. When you get settled into a relationship those lovely things you used to do tend to fall by the wayside. Try really hard to make a point of giving compliments. Also think about how you word it, backhanded compliments won’t help you keep the spark in your marriage. Don’t criticize in your compliment, if they have finally done something you wanted perhaps don’t mention that delay just be genuinely pleased with them.

Get Rid Of Resentments

I read somewhere a good idea to try is writing a list of things you resent about each other and then setting the list alight! It’s meant to be very cathartic for your relationship. If something keeps playing on your mind and you think your marriage is worth saving you could give this a try. You have to learn to let it go whatever it is that is bothering you, make sure you communicate how you are feeling. If its too big a deal, then you could try speaking to a marriage counsellor.

Enjoy Time Apart

They say absence makes the heart fonder, so do spend time apart. Catch up with friends and have your own hobbies so you value the time you have with your partner all the more. It will make you more dynamic and have more interesting things to talk about. You don’t want to stagnant in your marriage.