When is the right time to buy your child a phone? It’s a tricky and sometimes controversial question but most parents of young children will have given it some thought and probably had a lot of discussions about it too.

Phones have become an important part of modern life. Some of us seem to carry most of our lives on our phone – banking details, contact lists, entertainment and more. It’s safe to say that they’re no longer a luxurious item but a real necessity. Having said that, it’s also important to remember that mobile phones provide access to potentially dangerous content and by association, dangerous situations.

At what point is a child old enough to bear the responsibility of an expensive device which could in essence, put them in danger or in the way of trauma? It’s well-known of course that the internet is full of content which is definitely not suitable for children – and whilst most children have access to the internet via laptops or PCs, mobile phones have the element of portability. There’s nobody to look over a child’s shoulder if he or she is browsing the internet on a mobile phone after school. Let’s look first at the reasons why a child might need a mobile phone.

Why do children need mobile phones?

The number one reason given by most parents is that of safety. A mobile phone is very useful if a child is out and about alone or with friends. The device provides both child and parent with a means of contact. If buses or lifts are missed, then a child can contact a relative and ask for help.

Similarly, there are apps out there which can help parents keep virtual track of their child via maps. This can be useful when your child is old enough to go out and about and you might want to see where they are on their journey home or on the way to their destination.

The social elements of mobile phones for children

Most children over the age of 11 arrange in-person social gatherings via apps like Snapchat and Instagram. Similarly, long ‘chats’ are often held on these apps and teenagers especially seem to enjoy the camaraderie and connection with their peers. At what point as a parent are you facilitating healthy social interaction by providing a phone – and at what point is that appropriate?

Every child is different, and supervision is vital

Your child may begin to ask for their own phone as early as the age of 7 or 8. They may say that everyone else in their class has one. However, for most children this is too young. Not only are children in primary school generally incapable of looking after a small, portable device but they’re also too young to remember passwords and log on properly to the various apps they might want to use.

A good rule of thumb is that as soon as your child is old enough to travel to school alone, they’re probably old enough for their own phone. It’s important to retain control of their phone for some years to come. You, as parent should know the passcode to the phone as well as every app on it. You should also consider parental control apps to manage their mobile phone use.

Don’t purchase a very expensive phone – choose one which is new enough to work well but which won’t be a problem to replace.

At what age should I stop having access to my child’s phone?

Again, every child is different but by the age of around 16, your child should know right from wrong and be aware of internet safety. They should also know that they can come to you with any concerns and do so without fear of getting into too much trouble.

Keep a watchful eye on your child and their usage. Too much time on small screens not only damages eyesight but can also lead to depression and anxiety. Changes in mood and behaviour should be noted and it might be a good idea to check your child’s phone history and messages if you become concerned. This independent school in Kent believes that rules should be clear and positive – and this is a good place to begin when setting rules for your child’s screen time.