If you or your partner are dealing with health concerns, this is going to have a significant impact on many areas of your life. Men, especially, are less likely to ask for medical assistance than women. In fact, 31% of men say they visit their GP less than once per year, and Nuffield Health found that 65% of men put off getting medical treatment for as long as possible.

In many cases, it is the unwavering support and encouragement of their loved ones that has the power to push them towards seeking assistance and putting a stop to their suffering.

If you live with someone who avoids the doctors and struggles alone, it’s highly likely that you’re used to skirting around the issues and feel exasperated at trying to force them to seek treatment.

This post will look at some ways that you can get your point across without forcing them and make the topic of healthcare less of a fight and more of an act of self-care for both parties.

Talk About Your Feelings

One approach that can be more effective than simply advising them to seek treatment is to openly discuss how you feel about witnessing their silent suffering. Even if they believe they’re concealing it well, the truth is, they’re likely not. Express your concern and worry about the possibility of a serious underlying issue. 

While they might not put themselves at the top of the to-do list, they might be more swayed to take action if they know you’re overly concerned.

Discuss Options

If it’s physically getting to the doctors they are worried about, the embarrassment maybe or taking time off work, talk to them about their options. They can use telemed services to get a phone call appointment or book a virtual consultation with a medical professional for more sensitive topics, such as getting erectile dysfunction pills or discussing mental health issues. They can also go to a pharmacy if it’s easier, as pharmacists can give out advice and let them know if they should be seeking further medical care or if things can be self-treated at home.

The more options you present, the fewer excuses they will have to avoid getting help.

Validate Their Feelings

If they are resistant to medical attention for their health concerns, try to find out why. Instead of offering them to make an appointment or booking one they possibly won’t attend, ask them why they’re so reluctant and get them to open up. They might have a fear of the doctors or hospital, it might be certain treatments they’re putting off, or they grew up in a culture where getting help was a sign of weakness, and it’s something they now practise too.

Talk to them about their health concerns, try to uncover the reason without judgment and let them feel heard. Don’t rubbish their feelings or minimise them should they pin up; instead, work together to find a way around them to get the resolution.

Don’t Force It

It can be really tempting, especially in the face of what can often be construed as stubbornness, to move around them and book the care and treatment they need yourself. This takes all agency off the person involved and quite simply forces their hand. And this approach isn’t often well-received or appreciated.

Instead of taking matters into your own hands regarding their health concerns, try to make arrangements that can persuade them. Maybe you can take time off work together so you can book and attend the appointment as a couple; it might be that you take over household duties or tasks so they can find the time to get checked out. There are many dos and don’ts for these situations, and what will work will depend on your partner, your relationship, and how receptive they are to you taking control.

Offer Support

It might be the last thing you want to do after you’ve been kept awake by hours of coughing that your partner should have sought treatment for weeks ago, but offering support to let them know you understand there is something wrong and you’re there to help might just be the guilt trip they need to get treatment. Especially if one or both parties are worried, it’s something more serious that can be treated with antibiotics.

Showing that you care and are there for them in a less obvious, non-confrontational way can facilitate an easier relationship that leads to you coming to the conclusion of your health saga. It might not be instantly, but support can be a powerful thing, especially when one person is struggling.