Just because women give birth every minute of every day doesn’t mean it should be underestimated. Yes, it is the most natural thing in the world. However it is giving life to another human being. Not only have you carried this little human being for nine months and grown it and kept it safe. But you have then given birth to it and now have to look after it. It’s a big deal, and it’s also magical, wonderful, enjoyable, and amazing, and it will change your life. But after having a baby you need to look after yourself.

Hang In There

One of the things that many new mothers worry about is when they will feel “normal” again. They are keen to get back to their old ways and their old life. There is pressure to be out and about. The pressure to have everything together and organised. Combined with the pressure to get your body back in shape and fit into your clothes again. When you talk to other mothers, they might tell you to give it time and to concentrate on your baby, and you’ll soon get yourself into a routine. Eventually you will find a bit more energy or learn to live with very little.

However, if you really want to feel back to yourself again, one of the main things you need to do is accept that you have changed. You will never be able to go back to a time when you aren’t a mother. But that’s okay because this is you now. You are a parent, and this is an exciting time in your life. It is your life moving forward, and while it might take a bit of adjustment, that’s really all it needs.

Even if you don’t like yourself at the minute, that doesn’t mean you have to accept this will be you forever. You will be able to get into your pre-pregnancy clothes again, and you will feel more like the old you again. However, it will still be the new you and an event better you. So how can you help yourself get to that stage where you can accept the new you and embrace the new journey you’re on?

Stop Feeling Guilty

There are so many things that new mothers feel guilty about. It could be from anything like feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing. Maybe your not texting your friends back, not giving your partner enough attention, not doing any exercise, or forgetting something important like someone’s birthday or an anniversary. You need to rid yourself of this guilt, you are doing your best. That is all you can do, and if you ask other people, they will surely tell you that you’re doing a fab job. You’re just paranoid and putting too much pressure on yourself. Tell yourself you are good enough and realize that you don’t have to be perfect all the time because putting too much pressure on yourself will make you feel even worse.

Baby Brain

It’s also important to acknowledge that baby brain is a real thing; it’s not just something that people joke about. It makes sense, too; just add together the lack of sleep, the distraction, the new priority in your life, and what your body has just experienced, then what do you expect? Waking with a newborn every hour or two or dealing with a teething baby is going to disturb your sleep cycle. Then you’ve got the fact that cortisol, which is the hormone that gives you the energy, increases, but it also raises your stress levels.

Studies have shown that there is a negative correlation between high cortisol levels in new mothers and their working memory function. With the lack of sleep to the hormones whirring around your body, you are bound to feel completely exhausted, so don’t feel guilty about it; congratulate yourself instead because you’re doing a great job. 

Take All the Help And Advice Offered

Don’t feel like you’ve got to do this all on your own. If you are being offered help, then take it. IF you’re being offered advice and guidance, then listen. You don’t have to do it, you’re free to do things your own way. But you never know, if you listen, you might just find that little nugget of information that could really help you. Whether it’s must know tips for surviving sleep regression or a friend or family member offering to make you dinner, make the most of it. People are there to help you, and they want to help, so don’t feel bad about it; you would do the same for them.

Meditate

It may sound like another thing to try and fit into your day. But the benefits of meditation are totally worth it. If you can find five minutes before you go to sleep when you’re in the bath or on the bus, then try to squeeze a little bit of meditation in. It is not only guaranteed to alleviate stress and anxiety, enhance self-esteem, and bring control to your life. But it will ground you and help you just to take a moment, breathe, put things into perspective and get on with what you need to.

A 2016 study from researchers at Carnegie Mellon University showed that mindfulness meditation could improve concentration and decision making. It can be really useful for you when you’re trying to juggle life as a new parent. Meditation also increases your natural melatonin levels, which help you to get more restful sleep. As you’re lacking sleep anyway, the sleep that you do get must be of good quality. There are plenty of meditation videos you can listen to for free on YouTube or download an app like Calm or Head Space, which can help you. You don’t even need much time. Just a few minutes a day, and you will start to see a difference.

Exercise

Again it’s another thing that you have to fit into the day and feel bad about when you don’t do it. However, try not to think about exercise as you trying to find time to go to the gym or out for a run. Think of it as taking care of yourself which can have incredible results not only on your health but on your self-esteem, your confidence, and your daily happiness.

You don’t even have to go out of the house to get a workout in. Whist your baby is asleep, you could get ten minutes in with a quick workout on YouTube. Or you simply make sure you go for a walk with your baby each day and get the benefits of the fresh air. Take it slow, don’t put pressure on yourself. But do get moving as it will make you feel good and make everything else seem more manageable. You could also try Yoga or Pilates. Again you can do these in your living room and it will help you feel relaxed too. 

Spend Time With Your Partner

Things are inevitably going to change when you have a baby. However it’s all too common to forget about your relationship with your partner. It can be a rough time for you both when you’re lacking sleep and trying to navigate your way around this new way of life. But remember that you are in it together. Even when you are both tired, take the time to have some quality time together. Try simple things like just waking up ten minutes earlier to have a cup of coffee together, or meeting up for lunch. Reconnecting with your partner will help you find yourself again.