Online Dating In Your Forties: Can You Find True Love?
It’s not easy finding yourself single at forty. Especially if you lost confidence after your latest breakup. You might have been out of the dating game so long you don’t know what to expect anymore! Fortunately, online dating has opened up a whole world of possibilities whether you’re after companionship, friendship, or love so never give up hope. It’s really easy to meet someone new, you don’t have to rely on bumping into someone by chance at work or in your local pub. Online dating in your forties is great too because you have a clearer idea of what you want (and what you don’t!).
You might be more cynical of true love, but not ready to put yourself on the shelf quite yet! And rightly so, at forty you still have plenty of life left to live. So, don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re over the hill or just older in general instead embrace this chance to meet someone special. Life begins at forty after all…
With so much choice there will be the perfect person out there for you. It’s just a matter of finding them. So, if you are feeling apprehensive about dating again try and remain upbeat and positive. Here are some tips to navigate the wonderful world of online dating in your forties.
Baggage
When you start dating over 40 you have to appreciate people might have other responsibilities. Are you willing to date someone who has children already? By ruling out everyone who is a parent you could miss out on the person most suited to you. I actually don’t like the word baggage as it makes children sound like a burden when I consider them a blessing. If I ever returned to dating, I would be looking for a man to become part of my family not just tolerate my children for my sake. So be clear about your priorities from the very beginning.
Aside from children the impact of the divorce itself can be long lasting. You need to be sure whoever you meet is ready to move on and not still tied to the past.
Be Flexible
By the time you reach your forties you can be a little set in your ways. But when approaching online dating its worthwhile being flexible. You might have an idea of what your ideal man or woman will be like, from their physical appearance down to their personality traits. But you might need to compromise because an exact match on everything you hoped isn’t very likely. As long as you both have similar life goals and treat each other with kindness does it matter that they don’t have the same educational or work background as you.
Personally I have a thing about men in suits, but I guess I would have to be flexible enough to consider men that aren’t suited and booted in their profile pictures.
Avoid Repeating Mistakes
Use online dating as a way to date out of your usual type. You broke up with your ex for a reason so don’t try and find a carbon copy of him when you return to dating.
Age Differences
Dating in your forties is quite different to your twenties. Apparently at this age many men find much younger women attractive whilst women find men their own age more appealing. They might want a woman in their twenties who can still have children or be seen as a trophy on their arm. But whatever you do don’t create a fake online profile perhaps shaving a few years of your age, so you have more matches. Remember you want somebody who will connect with the real version of you.
Learn to Handle Rejection
You need to be quite resilient to cope with the world of online dating. Your happily ever after might not happen straight away. There might be some dating mishaps before you get there. You have to learn to bounce back. Like those times you make a meaningful connection, plan your date, swap details and photos and then they disappear. Their profile no longer exists (or most likely they blocked you). It happens you just need to not take it personally. You are worthy of love so don’t give up at the first obstacle.
I met my husband online but through gaming not a dating site, having fallen for him before our first meeting in real life. I think it takes quite a lot of courage dating online. You don’t have the same cues to validate your connection, the eye contact, and smiles. Although some online dating sites have compatibility matching systems so you can find someone with similar interests and personality traits. So do your research and find an online dating site that suits your needs. Good luck!
I was single from mid 30’s to late 40’s after ending a 20 yr relationship. I tried being on my own but realised I preferred being a couple. I joined loads of online dating sites and it is a minefield. I found that 99% of men on them are liars, 99.9% of them are married just looking for a ‘good time’!?! They will of course say they are single, looking for relationship, non smokers, gainfully employed etc and usually all of the above is lies. I found it emotionally exhausting spending the time trawling through the responses, investing time trying to get to know them, then finding out yet another liar looking for fun! I gave up in the end as it almost broke me, mentally. Thinking yes, at last, I have found a nice one, only to be let down time and time again. I withdrew all my adverts, resided myself to the fact I will be a lonely mad cat spinster. Low and behold within a month found the man to whom I am now married, in real life, while out with friends in a pub. Face to face is always best, too many secrets behind a keyboard!
Gosh so sorry to hear your experiences were far from positive, but so glad you found true love in the end x
Hey Maria, I here you! All of that and then some, trust me, I have enough stories to write several books! Online Dating is demoralising and no, I don’t believe you can find true love online. However, for those that don’t know the pitfalls and what to look out for, this post is rather helpful! Just go into it all with a pinch of salt and don’t believe everything you read. Like… if a man states he is 6ft, chances are he isn’t! 😉 Sim x